omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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