I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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