kristin has been a bad kristin
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
