I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Randomize
