Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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