Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
