are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
