When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
do nipples grow back?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
