I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
