You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
