so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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