Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
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I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
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i've created a new STD.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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