Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I got inside last night via doggy door
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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