Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
