I think i peed on brittanys purse
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
