I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
