Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
