I will die if light touches me.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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