i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize