I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
