Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
