mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
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