I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
