I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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