4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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