Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
