I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
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