So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
