11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
