and she was petting her beer can
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
