I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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