We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
