Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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