moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
