Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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