you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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