just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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