Taylor Swift is so right about you.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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