You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
