I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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