He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
