I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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