I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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