none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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