fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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