I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
i think i just lost a toe
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
