is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
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