my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Randomize
