is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
We're too hungover to prance.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
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