does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
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When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
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In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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