We need to start having sex underwater more often.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize