Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
so much tequila, so little girl.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
