did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
