Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
