Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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