I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
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