I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
