508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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