YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
