I'm jealous of your bromance
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
