there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
