as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
