when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
