I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
